now i know why i became what i already was.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
