the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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