I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
