Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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