but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
