when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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