Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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