You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
