I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize