Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Vodka?
Forever.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
