She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My dick has a subreddit
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize