I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
