I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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