Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
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Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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