just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
