I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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