my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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