We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im having a threesome with these popsicles
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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