i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
