Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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