pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
