Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize