I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
