you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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