Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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