Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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