i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
