I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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