Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
