If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
