you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
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He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
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I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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