hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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