I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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