so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he thought i was a dude.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
