Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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