Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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