just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
