Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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