I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
