Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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