My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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