Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
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we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
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The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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