I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
