This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
