CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
did you just send me my own nude
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
