Umm I'm too high to move.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He felt like a one man threesome
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
