I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
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Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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