She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize