...so i touched it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize