I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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