meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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