RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
