I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
