i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My ATM looks so different sober.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
