??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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