Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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