yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
