Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
