Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
