Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
