Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
They took my balls.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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